


I'm Leaving You for the Yondaime!

by WaffleDogOfficial



Category: Naruto
Genre: Cheating on your husband with your husband, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Konoha carvers like to be dramatic, Minato is surprisingly vain, Romance, Sculpture Woes, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23927887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaffleDogOfficial/pseuds/WaffleDogOfficial
Summary: "Minato got his first full view of the Hokage mountain. Immediately, his jaw dropped in horror while Kushina burst into laughter."In which Minato suffers and Kushina is a bully.
Relationships: Namikaze Minato & Uzumaki Kushina, Namikaze Minato/Uzumaki Kushina
Comments: 14
Kudos: 107





	I'm Leaving You for the Yondaime!

**Author's Note:**

> Now available in [Russian!](https://ficbook.net/readfic/9600006/24669133)

Minato woke up before the birds were even out, too excited to go back to sleep.

At his side, Kushina was deeply asleep, snoring gently with her back turned to him. Despite his excitement, he would never dare to wake her up outside of a true emergency. Even without pregnancy hormones, she had a tendency to break noses in the morning.

He left Kushina’s side, making sure not to shake the bed too much, and walked toward the balcony where they kept their garden. There, they had a partial view of the mountain-- although only the first and second Hokage were visible.

Minato resisted the urge to jump to the roof for a better view. While he had taken the office of Yondaime Hokage a month ago, the carving on the mountain had only been finished the night before. He burned with a desire to see the end result.

But... he couldn’t do it without Kushina at his side.

Shaking with impatience, Minato paced in the balcony as he waited for his wife to wake up.

**O-O-O**

Kushina yawned like a cat. She stretched her arms over her head and tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes.

“Do we really have to see your face now? It’s not even six in the morning!” she whined. “If I wanted to see your face, I’d just always keep my eyes open, y’know!”

Minato ignored her. “But how often do you see my face on a _mountain_?”

She only rolled her eyes at that.

He chuckled. “Anyway, let’s close our eyes. We’ll open them at the same time to look at it together. How does that sound, Kushina?"

"Sure, pretty boy." She closed her eyes and grabbed onto his hand.

Minato closed his eyes as well and leaped up. Still holding onto Kushina, they arrived at the top of a water tower.

"Ready?" he asked, his eyes still closed.

"I guess."

"One... two... three... and... open!"

Minato got his first full view of the Hokage mountain. Immediately, his jaw dropped in horror while Kushina burst into laughter.

Instead of his own face reflected on the Hokage Monument, he could only gape at the stranger's facade. It looked absolutely nothing like him. The jaw was too square, the hair too long, the eyes too tired, the nose too big, the lips too angry.

"Th-that-- that’s--!" Kushina tried to speak but she was laughing too hard for any words to come out, tears of joy dripping down her face.

Minato stared at her, speechless. Still holding hands, he waited for Kushina to calm down. Finally, after what felt like decades later, her laughter subsided into giggles, and she covered her mouth with her hand to suppress the rest of her mirth.

"Th-the carving doesn't look much like you, y’know," she finally managed to stutter. Her shoulders shook as she tried to suppress her laughter again.

"No, it does not." Minato grimaced, horrified at the end result. He had thought only the best artist possible would have been put in charge of the Hokage Monument. Why had he been forced to sit still for hours at a studio if his likeness was not going to be faithful?

"Anyway, I guess we should go and eat breakfast." Kushina leaned her head on his shoulder, still shaking with barely suppressed giggles.

Numb, Minato nodded. Part of him wanted to cry. How difficult was it to get a good approximation of his face?

**O-O-O**

Kushina teased him mercilessly for the rest of the day, reveling in his disappointment.

"Honey, I think I'm falling for the Hokage carved on the mountain," she said as they got dressed for the day. “He just exudes so much masculine energy.”

"I think I'm leaving you for the Yondaime," she teased when she swung by his office with lunch.

"Hey, can you introduce me to the Hokage? He looks really hot, y'know! Very... masculine." Kushina leered at him before pressing a quick kiss on his cheek.

Minato only sighed at her teasing. He wasn't sensitive enough to find her words hurtful and part of him agreed with her. Why couldn't the monument actually look like him?

It took Kushina a few days to cease her merciless teasing. A week later, she only made fun of him once per day. It took a full month longer for her to stop except on a couple of exceptional occasions. While Minato hoped she would eventually stop completely, it only took a glance at the Hokage Mountain for her bullying to begin anew.

**O-O-O**

Kushina's teasing words were the least of his problems. If anything, Kushina gave him someone to vent about how he really felt. He couldn't complain to anyone else about it without making himself feel ungrateful and vain.

A few weeks after seeing his face on the mountain, the Third Hokage had entered his new office.

“Sandaime-sama, it’s very nice to see you.” Minato stood up from behind his desk and bowed his head down in respect. “To what do I owe this honor?”

“I wanted to make sure that everything was going well,” the Third Hokage answered. “Have you had any issues yet?”

“No.” Minato shook his head. “Thank you very much for worrying about me, Sandaime-sama. But I think everything is going well.” He smiled before he remembered what had been bothering him for the past few weeks. “Well... there is one thing,” he admitted.

“Oh?” The previous Hokage raised a curious eyebrow as he met Minato’s eyes, waiting for him to continue.

“It’s just...” Minato swallowed, afraid of being seen as vain if he complained about the look of his face on the mountain. “It’s just that I wanted to know about the person who carved the faces on the monument.”

“Oh! Is that all?” The old man sighed. “The man who carved them has carved the faces of every single Hokage starting with the first.”

“Since the first?” Minato’s eyes widened, amazed. “I imagine the artist must be getting on in his years.”

The Sandaime grunted in assent. “Yes. His name is Akio-san. He is the man in charge of taking care of the Hokage Monument. He was going to retire until I named you as my successor.”

“I see.” Minato struggled to keep his true emotions suppressed. Why couldn’t the man have retired before Minato became Hokage?

“Is that all, Yondaime-sama?”

Minato nodded. “Yes, thank you very much for your information, Sandaime-sama.” He bowed his head down.

The previous Hokage left, nodding his head down briefly before walking out. Minato collapsed in his chair with a sigh. He hoped by the time the next person became Hokage, there would be a new sculptor. Hopefully, their likeness would actually be accurate.

**O-O-O**

Minato forced himself to look at the Hokage Monument as little as possible. He averted his eyes whenever he had to travel through the rooftops and turned his back toward it whenever he had to be near it. After another week or so, he had almost forgotten how much he hated his own face on the mountain.

However, in the end, it was impossible to escape its influence.

Minato heard a knock coming from the door. Glancing up from the paperwork in front of him, he lifted his face. “Come in,” he said.

A second later, an older man with graying hair walked into his office. He had the look of a minor noble-- fine clothes and a tall stance. Minato guessed he was a potential client for a higher-ranked mission. Based on the quality of his clothes, he would be a good source of extra income for Konoha.

“Good afternoon, how may I help you?” Minato asked, ready to get down to business.

“Good afternoon,” the man replied in a smug tone. “I would like to speak to the Hokage.”

Minato blinked at the man, stumped. He was wearing the Hokage cloak and was sitting behind the Hokage’s desk, although, admittedly, the hat was hanging on a hook on the wall. He paused, waiting to see if the man would make the connection. When the potential client failed to notice, Minato felt a part of himself slowly die inside.

“I... I am the Hokage,” he muttered after a few seconds of silence.

“Oh! In that case--”

“Why--” Minato swallowed and pointed to himself. “Why didn’t you think _I_ was the Hokage?”

The man’s eyes widened and he averted his gaze, slightly embarrassed. “Oh no! It’s just...”

“Why?”

“It’s just...” The man squinted at him, a confused frown on his face. “It’s just that the carving on the Hokage Mountain doesn’t look much like you,” he admitted.

Minato felt his pride evaporate like a shallow puddle on a hot summer day. He swallowed and bit his tongue to keep the emotions from showing on his face.

“I see. Please sit down. How may I help you?” Minato asked, schooling his face to not show any negative emotion.

The man sat in front of Minato and began to talk about specifics for a potential A-ranked mission. Minato listened intently, nodding along as he took notes for the mission assignment documents. Inside, however, the only thing he could think about was how much he hated the Hokage Monument.

**O-O-O**

After the man left, Kushina sent him a quick message that she was craving blueberry ice cream. With a smile to himself, Minato leaped out of the window and flickered to the convenience store.

He arrived home soon after, late at night, a grocery bag full of Kushina’s request and other snacks in one hand.

“Thank you so much, pretty boy!” Kushina grinned up at him as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss his lips. “I got a sudden craving for blueberries. Not sure why.”

Minato shrugged. “Pregnancy?”

“I guess.” She helped him take off his coat. “Anyway, how was your day? Get a lot of cool Hokage stuff done?”

Minato groaned. He walked toward the living room and collapsed on the sofa with a tired sigh. Suddenly concerned, Kushina joined at his side and he placed his head on her lap.

“Oh, did something bad happen?” she asked, her voice full of worry.

Minato shook his head. “Well, I wouldn’t say it was bad exactly, but...” With another sigh, he recounted the events with the minor noble in his office, not leaving out a single detail.

As expected, Kushina burst into laughter once Minato finished his retelling. It took her a few minutes to stop her giggling, but when she did, she tutted sympathetically and pressed another kiss on his lips.

“I’m sorry about that, Minato. Who knew having a bad carving of your face on a rock would give you trouble?”

Minato scowled as he looked up at Kushina. “I know! It was humiliating!” he cried. I’m sure the man thought I was just a kid!"

Kushina snorted. “Well, I sure know for a fact that you aren’t.”

He smiled up at her before turning until his face was pointed toward Kushina’s stomach. She was less than five months pregnant and the swell of her belly was nonexistent. Nevertheless, he pressed his face against her midriff.

“Promise me you’ll know what your dad’s face looks like, okay?” he whispered, pressing a kiss onto her growing stomach.

**Author's Note:**

> Minato actually enjoys when Kushina makes fun of him.
> 
> Thank you TheMasterDoughnut and Morket for looking over this story for me real quick.
> 
> I’m on Tumblr at waffledogwrites. You can also add me on Discord, if you wish. Hope you enjoyed the story!


End file.
